It seems time flies by. I try to keep busy but sometimes its hard to do that. Its either feast or famine with me. Im going 90 miles an hour or a dead stand still.
Im cleaning house again today. Its hard to do much with out a car . I stay home, which is kinda odd considering I have agoraphobia, I prefer to stay home but knowing that Im stuck at home triggers panic attacks,geesh cant win for losing lol.
I dont do art anymore,its all dried up and dead. I have no desire. After the last fisaco I dont care to even sort out my art stuff. I spent so much emotion with that it killed ever feeling off I have. Im either tired ,bored, or just here,marking time.
Which trully is a sad thing. My life is good,just lacking in quite a few areas. My family is healthy which Im thankful. Its just wow one more thing to add to the pile,like a house of cards,or dominos. Im a quite ashamed of myself for wasting time and my life.
On to better things now. Im going to dig out what Christmas decoration my mom had. I dont keep mine from year to year for whatever reason. I do have alot of lights,got a crapload of nice ones at a yard sale. Im talented and like doing crafts ,you would think I could make something,but naw.. Ok maybe I will go out in the shed and look for some wood to paint maybe a snow scene or Santa or reindeer. I need a wreath ,hmmm maybe I need to hunt some pine cones down. Wow I felt a slight twinge or creativity.
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