What a morning,,one of my people got sick ..and i mean allover at work several times.
Budget cuts,,going to lose my ot shift. I can barely make it now. Oh well aleast I have a job still
Its hurting really bad today about him leaving me. I guess I should have figured it out day one.
I should be jumping for joy. I wanted a way to ended it and now its ended. Crying Im not much of a person who cries. My kids arnt either. I get numb. I think sometimes if i cry I would be better off. Opps here it comes tears and shaking lol. I just so scared about the future money wise and I feel so alone. I also listen to sad music then it plays over and over in my mind. I need to find a good song.
Im going to check my plants here in a few minutes, it hailed really bad last night. I had a cute little tomatoe on one of my plants.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
sunday
I had a rough night at work. Im getting kinda worried we have a meeting this week about budget cuts, I dont think I will lose my job but im sure I will lose my over time shift. I cant make it with out that shift.
Im so worried about my older son and his drinking. It rips me to shreds. It pulls the rug out from me. I can handle most things but it kills me when he calls me drunk or I find out he is drunk.
Ok one more negative thing. It likes day 3 now no word from the snake. Its getting better. I have to admit . I just need to round the bin and I will be ok. I knew knew he would throw me under the bus. Im so dumb . I guess it is my independence day. He promised me he would tell me if he wanted to end it but he chickend out. I miss the daily contact . I lived with fear and dread that he would end it so Im glad it over now. This is the day I waited for for about a year.
The powers that be must have felt sorry for me and caused this freak happen stance .
Ok onwarded. I got more stones for the gardens. I need to unload but im tired and its getting ready to storm. I think I will sleep most of the day till my younger son comes home. I might drag out some kind of craft project to do. I used to love to do stuff now that I have room Im not interested. I really jacked up my coffe table lol I spilled water and it made a red school folder lose its dye,,opps then I spray painted the whole thign white,duhhhhhhhh. Now I have to sand it all down. Start over.
I did enjoy the river I took pictures and nature. I think I pissed off the goat man I didnt mean to get him in my pics. Its nice to go there sunday morning to get the rock. Im going to start adding pics to my blog.
Im so worried about my older son and his drinking. It rips me to shreds. It pulls the rug out from me. I can handle most things but it kills me when he calls me drunk or I find out he is drunk.
Ok one more negative thing. It likes day 3 now no word from the snake. Its getting better. I have to admit . I just need to round the bin and I will be ok. I knew knew he would throw me under the bus. Im so dumb . I guess it is my independence day. He promised me he would tell me if he wanted to end it but he chickend out. I miss the daily contact . I lived with fear and dread that he would end it so Im glad it over now. This is the day I waited for for about a year.
The powers that be must have felt sorry for me and caused this freak happen stance .
Ok onwarded. I got more stones for the gardens. I need to unload but im tired and its getting ready to storm. I think I will sleep most of the day till my younger son comes home. I might drag out some kind of craft project to do. I used to love to do stuff now that I have room Im not interested. I really jacked up my coffe table lol I spilled water and it made a red school folder lose its dye,,opps then I spray painted the whole thign white,duhhhhhhhh. Now I have to sand it all down. Start over.
I did enjoy the river I took pictures and nature. I think I pissed off the goat man I didnt mean to get him in my pics. Its nice to go there sunday morning to get the rock. Im going to start adding pics to my blog.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
I kinda ran out of money on the remodeling and im pretty depressed anyway. I guess I should be thankful I have a home now. Im trying hard to make it home for my son.
On a different note. Im very sad my relationshiped ended. I knew it wouldnt last forever but it hurts real bad. It wasnt a very healthy thing in the first place. I feel like never leaving the couch. Im so lonely and I feel so trapped no friends ,no support system. I guess I should thank the powers that be,that it ended, I want to move on so bad but keep sinking in the sand.
I redid alittle spice cabinet, it was 70 funky style but it now shabby chic white kinda. Its cool . Im kind into shabby chic,,all things white. I keep telling myself it takes time,i ts more fun to do a little at a time. That way I dont get overwhelemed.
happy fourth of july..
On a different note. Im very sad my relationshiped ended. I knew it wouldnt last forever but it hurts real bad. It wasnt a very healthy thing in the first place. I feel like never leaving the couch. Im so lonely and I feel so trapped no friends ,no support system. I guess I should thank the powers that be,that it ended, I want to move on so bad but keep sinking in the sand.
I redid alittle spice cabinet, it was 70 funky style but it now shabby chic white kinda. Its cool . Im kind into shabby chic,,all things white. I keep telling myself it takes time,i ts more fun to do a little at a time. That way I dont get overwhelemed.
happy fourth of july..
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