First day..

I decided to do a public blog. I know most of them are for the public ,but if I can help one person in life so be it. OK I will blog about everything but some of my main points are artsy fartsy stuff ,art,,,long distance love , chatting, love, or lack of love, teenagers,grandkids,relguoius beoifs of lack of them, mental health issues. Stuff that people get all pissy about when you post in their forums lol.heheheheh got to love the internet.


Let me tell you about me. Im 43 single women,for varies reason I remain single and at this time that I wont discuss here. I have severe depression and dsythmia. I have agorphobia,,however that is spelled ,it comes and goes. I had a hysterectomy in January,, I tried all the hormones therapy ,they didnt work ,plus I have had blod clots in the past so hormones are a no no. I went cold turkey. I think that through me into a deep depression right now. So you will rarely hear sunshine and puppies discussed here. Dont get me wrong I am happy deep down..I think. I do love life,,ok well love is a strong world. I am very amused/bewildered at life, all the shit that happens, good or bad.

I love to paint,do altered art journals, atc, found art. I just stated a online drawing classes from my community college. Btw I have dysagraphia ,a writing disorder. So I do try hard to do the proper grammer thing ,but it is my blog, Dont read and comment about my spelling and lack of proper grammer. ok? Also I hope to do some art therapy at the mental health center.

Im going to Denver for the weekend. The ex felt sorry for me and we all(him,me ,the 17 year old son,8 year old grandaughter) are going, he is footing the bill. NO we dont have a relationship ,sexual,, first and foremost to clear that up right away. We do live together for different reasons. Next week I plan to move in with the daugter..hmmm that will be fun yeah right.. Anyway I had some internet bf drama last night ,threw me into shit ,crying on the floor mode. It kinda f*** the whole trip. Now I'm going to be worried about that all weekend. I am going all weekend without chatting,,yeaaaaaaaaaaah. For those of you who dont know,, im severly addicted to the computer.

This is hard to blog. I don't want to tell everything. You will get bored or call the loony bin on me. OK art,,, I did two paintings this week and I am working on a drawing now. MY work is more emotions based,, My art teacher wants to look at my work,,hmmmm I don't know how my fairies and people screaming with brains dripping out and knives in a broken heart will fare with him. OH I have also started working on some short stories. I try to stay busy ,not think of things but sometimes it makes it worse just doing busy work. I really need this weekend trip I mostly live in my computer. I do work and take care my family don't get me wrong.

I have to address one more thing.. I'm up for suggestions about life but I am serverly addicted to my laptop and the Internet. It has been a two edged sword the Internet.. A man I let totally f up my world. Yes I have mental health issues. Its a bad deal I wish I could walk away from him..will I ever meet him ,nope. He is kinda like my invisible friend you have as a kid.Some time he is fun to play with sometimes he is like the boogey man in the closet. I'm one sick puppy.