squirells ,,what are you nuts?

Well i saw on the exteremator tv show last night they arnt as dangerous as raccoons,,We have a litter critter loose in the house.. The ex doesn't care and wont do anything about it,,I cant wait to move,PS i m terrified of those little shits anyway.

Snow and cold today. I hate Wyoming,,I don't deal well with the heat but ewwwwwwwwwww. I have car today,,,shauns is kinda running. I borrowed my daughters yesterday blissful day of running around.

Explain to me how you can love a person so much but yet want nothing to do with them. I guess its cant live with and cant live without. I miss him so much. Someday will come and he will never comeback. Is it better to love someone you never would stand a chance with and enjoy the moment? Or come to your sense and sit on your hands wanting for the perfect man,MR right?

Yuck we have a horrible viral stomach and congestion thing going on here,,my son has been bed sick for about a week. I'm fighting it off.

My art class is Saturday.I'm don't know if I can do it. I suck and I don't like being away from the house that many hours..4 hours is bad but luckily the class is only 3.

I had a friend say he was to busy living life to sit and journal about it. I guess we all have different lives what works for some..etc etc

omgsh I can hear the little bastard running across the attic,, Im scared. we have open area so he or they can get down in the house.

In a blizzard

Yuck,,its the tail end of a blizzard here in wonderful Wyoming. I'm thankful I have a roof over our heads. well Shaun's ceiling is ready to fall in on one side. long story. I have the flu or something,Shaun was sick all weekend. I get up and move I get dizzy. I have cabin fever though. No car,,.

I couldn't go to work last night no car,things got messed up the poor women had to stay she had been there forever.It wasn't my fault,I called in and got my absence approved.

I had a good time in Denver . I saw so many homeless people,its real unsettling. I cant believe one block away is multimillion dollar condos,then the next block is homeless people by the hundreds on a street corner. The world is so unfair. I'M broke as shit , poor living with other people. I have a job though so I guess I'm so much more blessed. Wow i kinda hate saying that. Does God know about these people? I need to give or do something for these people.

I really enjoyed the hotel,pool,hot tub,balcony for a few hours I felt so good.We were so lost most the the time. Most the time we were in the car lost. I liked the zoo.

I start my art therapy classes Saturday. I'm really happy but having anxiety attacks about it. I suck as a artist but I guess that's what I need,,lessons. I'm taking the online classes also. I'm kinda so so about them. A homeless dude did a sketch of the kids,,wow. He was so good. I gave him 20 bucks,he only wanted 10 but I don't know if that was enough or not. I'M broke ass but he needed it more then me.

Man I saw a part of the world last weekend. I'm still processing it. I wish I could just do things and not think so damn much about them. I will get though this next few days stuck in this place,bad weather ,no car,no hope of any car it seems . All the cars I have access to are dead.

Wow.

First day..

I decided to do a public blog. I know most of them are for the public ,but if I can help one person in life so be it. OK I will blog about everything but some of my main points are artsy fartsy stuff ,art,,,long distance love , chatting, love, or lack of love, teenagers,grandkids,relguoius beoifs of lack of them, mental health issues. Stuff that people get all pissy about when you post in their forums lol.heheheheh got to love the internet.


Let me tell you about me. Im 43 single women,for varies reason I remain single and at this time that I wont discuss here. I have severe depression and dsythmia. I have agorphobia,,however that is spelled ,it comes and goes. I had a hysterectomy in January,, I tried all the hormones therapy ,they didnt work ,plus I have had blod clots in the past so hormones are a no no. I went cold turkey. I think that through me into a deep depression right now. So you will rarely hear sunshine and puppies discussed here. Dont get me wrong I am happy deep down..I think. I do love life,,ok well love is a strong world. I am very amused/bewildered at life, all the shit that happens, good or bad.

I love to paint,do altered art journals, atc, found art. I just stated a online drawing classes from my community college. Btw I have dysagraphia ,a writing disorder. So I do try hard to do the proper grammer thing ,but it is my blog, Dont read and comment about my spelling and lack of proper grammer. ok? Also I hope to do some art therapy at the mental health center.

Im going to Denver for the weekend. The ex felt sorry for me and we all(him,me ,the 17 year old son,8 year old grandaughter) are going, he is footing the bill. NO we dont have a relationship ,sexual,, first and foremost to clear that up right away. We do live together for different reasons. Next week I plan to move in with the daugter..hmmm that will be fun yeah right.. Anyway I had some internet bf drama last night ,threw me into shit ,crying on the floor mode. It kinda f*** the whole trip. Now I'm going to be worried about that all weekend. I am going all weekend without chatting,,yeaaaaaaaaaaah. For those of you who dont know,, im severly addicted to the computer.

This is hard to blog. I don't want to tell everything. You will get bored or call the loony bin on me. OK art,,, I did two paintings this week and I am working on a drawing now. MY work is more emotions based,, My art teacher wants to look at my work,,hmmmm I don't know how my fairies and people screaming with brains dripping out and knives in a broken heart will fare with him. OH I have also started working on some short stories. I try to stay busy ,not think of things but sometimes it makes it worse just doing busy work. I really need this weekend trip I mostly live in my computer. I do work and take care my family don't get me wrong.

I have to address one more thing.. I'm up for suggestions about life but I am serverly addicted to my laptop and the Internet. It has been a two edged sword the Internet.. A man I let totally f up my world. Yes I have mental health issues. Its a bad deal I wish I could walk away from him..will I ever meet him ,nope. He is kinda like my invisible friend you have as a kid.Some time he is fun to play with sometimes he is like the boogey man in the closet. I'm one sick puppy.